"Without a Deadline, I Can't Get Anything Done"
Yesterday, I wrote a short piece reflecting on how I've been incredibly busy lately, but in a strangely satisfying way. The product that has troubled me for years is finally about to be released in its true 1.0 version. Back in June, I forcefully released a crippled version, humorously naming it "Almost Unusable." Even though it was June, it feels like yesterday—two months have flown by in the blink of an eye. What have I been doing all this time? What did I do to finally reach the point where I’m about to fulfill my mission and overcome this enormous challenge? I feel both terrified and excited.
The truth is, this product has been in development for over two years, not just two months. What have I been doing all these two years? Looking back, words like pain, pressure, responsibility, and torment flood my mind. About three months ago, I told my wife, "I feel like I’m about to collapse because of this new product. I really want to give up; the pressure is too much." At that point, the product had already been in development for two years, overcoming numerous hurdles. Yet, the biggest challenge still lay ahead. Even though I had come so far, I genuinely wanted to quit. That feeling is still vivid today, but I had no option to "give up," nor could I hastily cobble the product together just because I wanted to quit. I knew I had to keep going and had to continue building every foundation step by step with best practices.
This is a massive five-year project, but because it’s already been implemented once on the mobile side, it doesn’t really need to take five years—that's both a benefit and a constraint. I need to transfer the vast amount of code logic from the past five years (actually seven years) to a very different project. Just two or three months ago, there were still over 1,400 errors in the code file before me, each needing to be resolved one by one. Every time I faced these, I had to muster up immense mental energy, because until all those errors were collectively resolved, it was nearly impossible to test any single one of them ahead of time—and any one of them could ultimately crash the program or leave hidden dangers. Thankfully, those 1,400 errors have now all been resolved flawlessly—who could understand the mental strength this requires?
Thankfully—thankful for every mountain that I wanted so desperately to give up on but managed to cross.
In 2021, at the age of 28, I voluntarily resigned from Microsoft—not because I had achieved financial freedom, but because I had already worked for nearly a decade and wanted more freedom in steering my own life. In the workplace, there are often various tasks imposed by superiors that have to be executed, and every day, you have to follow routines, go to your desk, deal with various constraints, and even idle times can make you feel anxious and uneasy. Looking back now, those days full of constraints were somewhat blissful. Although constraints were always present, they didn’t come with the fierce storms and waves you have to face when steering your own ship, nor did they carry the immense burden of responsibility that you can’t shake off. Workplace constraints are like being soaked in shallow bitter water—though the bitterness is constant, it doesn’t suffocate you. Once you leave the workplace, in the boundless ocean, storms and waves can destroy tomorrow’s calm at any time. Redeveloping a five-year project is like this—responsibility weighs heavily, and no matter how big the challenge, you must find the motivation within yourself to grit your teeth and push through. Often, you look around in confusion, realizing you’re trekking alone, holding fast…
Fortunately, the new summit is already in sight. In June, we released the "Almost Unusable" version, receiving hundreds of comments from users cheering us on. Everyone could understand the challenges of this product, and I was deeply touched. So, I set a new milestone: to release a truly usable version by August 20th. This is a writing software, and a truly usable version must at least implement many of the basic editor functions, along with a system that can sync across devices. Looking back now, without the encouragement from users in June and without a new deadline, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything. Things are so difficult, and what I’ve completed so far is far from satisfactory. If there hadn’t been a deadline, I certainly wouldn’t have presented it to the public, wouldn’t have worked so hard, and wouldn’t have felt, as I said in the beginning, both extremely busy yet oddly happy.
This afternoon, I was sitting in a barbershop, with the barber trimming my hair, when I suddenly felt the urge to write this article. It’s much like how we feel when we start implementing a product idea—initially driven by enthusiasm, then struggling, feeling pretentious and bitter, accompanied by self-doubt and self-loathing, editing and revising until it’s finally placed before you. Will anyone understand me after reading it?
Always feeling both incredibly anxious and incredibly hopeful.
August 16, 2024.
Drakeet